Fellow members need your help in answering critical questions. As an exclusive service to members, the OFDA's Q&A page allows you to share common questions and maybe not-so-common answers. You can even share your stories of unique and/or interesting services that you have provided. Maybe your story will answer someone's question before they even ask it!
Have you and your family discussed a budget, and decided on an amount that’s affordable for you—that you’re willing and able to spend without hardship? Shopping for a funeral should be like making any major purchase—you know what you can afford before you start shopping. Don’t make the mistake of buying a funeral the way many people do—accepting the funeral home’s price then scrambling to find the money.
Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17] 

You made a great point when you mentioned that proximity could be important when choosing a funeral home. Considering what kinds of things are important to you, such as price and location, would be an important step to make when choosing a funeral home. My aunt recently passed away, so when my family plans the funeral, we’ll have to remember to weigh our priorities, as you mention.

You made a good point when you talked about how it is important to schedule an appointment for a visit when you are looking to hire a funeral home for their services. Losing a loved one is not an easy process for anyone, and in my opinion, it is important to reduce as much stress as possible in situations like these. If I had to plan a funeral for a loved one, I would definitely want the help of a funeral home.


Your first meeting with a funeral director (sometimes referred to as an "arrangement conference") can take place in person—either at the funeral home or at your own home—or over the phone. This initial meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered by the funeral home, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. The funeral director should be friendly, courteous, well-informed and compassionate. You may have many questions and requests, and the funeral director should listen attentively and provide answers.
When a friend or loved one dies or death is expected to take place soon, there are many details to take care of. This can be a very stressful time. You are grieving and may have assumed a great responsibility by taking on the task of making funeral arrangements for someone you care about. The following information will make this difficult time easier for you.
If the death has already happened and you do not have time to pre-plan, download a copy of our Funeral Planning Checklist and Planning Form. This comprehensive document will help you gather all the information that you will need when meeting with the funeral service providers you will be working with. Once you make the request we will email you right away with a link to download the document.
You should also discuss with your provider any religious or cultural preferences that you would like honored. For example, if you desire a secular or non-religious funeral or memorial service, you might like to use the services of a funeral celebrant, which some funeral homes now have on their staffs. Many funeral homes also have experience serving families from diverse cultural backgrounds with their own funeral rites, rituals, and customs.
Everything we do before, during and after a service is done because we want you to feel as comfortable as possible as this becomes your home away from home during a time of loss.Our facility is one of the most beautiful and recognized landmarks in Savannah, GA. From the flower-landscaped and front entrance to the tastefully furnished interior, you will have the feeling of being in a fine and comfortable place to pay your last respects and a beautiful final tribute to your love one.
My grandpa is very sick, and my mother is trying to find a funeral service to get everything in order beforehand. I like that you say to visit several funeral homes and bring a list of questions as well as try to meet the staff. This will help you get an idea if you are comfortable with the director as well as the home. Also, I agree that you should weigh your priorities and see if you want the funeral home to be close to your home, a church, or a cemetery and decide which is most important.
If you've formally prearranged your funeral or memorial service with a provider, then you should keep those documents with your other important papers at home—and let your loved ones know of their existence and their location—so they have timely access to them when necessary. If you keep your legal documents in a safe, or offsite in a safety-deposit box, then you should ensure that your loved one(s) also know the safe's combination or can access the key. 

When you have thoroughly evaluated information from several funeral homes, choose the one you like best. If the funeral is imminent, call the funeral home to begin the arrangements. At this point, you could fill out the funeral home’s pre-need planning form and pay a deposit if required. But remember, never sign a contract for more than you or your family can afford to pay!

Finally, if you're planning your own funeral or memorial service in advance, you should inform your family about your end-of-life wishes to make sure they know what you want. Ideally, you should provide a written record rather than relying upon a family member's memory or keeping your plans on your computer, but even a single verbal conversation with your spouse or partner, child, sibling, or parent can prove better than nothing.
You should feel comfortable with the funeral director at the funeral home. Your first meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. Cost is another consideration, and it’s okay (and can be a good idea) to comparison shop if you feel uneasy about quoted prices. And if you’re not sure where to start, but you know what cemetery you want to use, consider asking the cemetery for their recommended funeral homes.

When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.


Thank you for mentioning how you should consult with a funeral provider and get a written list of items you can get with your plan. It is important to remember that doing this can help you know what you are paying for and what is available to you. My dad passed away yesterday and we want to make sure we get the best funeral services we can, so I’m glad I found your post.
You made a great point when you mentioned that proximity could be important when choosing a funeral home. Considering what kinds of things are important to you, such as price and location, would be an important step to make when choosing a funeral home. My aunt recently passed away, so when my family plans the funeral, we’ll have to remember to weigh our priorities, as you mention.
At no point should you feel pressured into making any arrangements that make you feel uncomfortable. While some people may opt for embalming, cosmetology, and a viewing or wake, others may simply want a graveside service or a direct cremation; all of these are valid options, and at no point should you feel that the funeral director is pressuring you to add on unwanted services.
Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director. After the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.[11]
If you can’t find a price survey, look online or in the phone book for funeral home listings. Call five or six and get their prices for your chosen arrangement; perhaps ask about casket and urn prices as well. If a particular funeral director seems uncooperative, cross him off your list. Do the costs fit within your budget? If not, you may have to consider a more affordable type of arrangement, look beyond your immediate area for lower prices, or eliminate extra expenses like embalming or visitation.
Have you and your family discussed a budget, and decided on an amount that’s affordable for you—that you’re willing and able to spend without hardship? Shopping for a funeral should be like making any major purchase—you know what you can afford before you start shopping. Don’t make the mistake of buying a funeral the way many people do—accepting the funeral home’s price then scrambling to find the money.
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