Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences. For the past several decades, however, families have also used the phrase "In lieu of flowers..." in death notices and obituaries to suggest their preference for funeral memorial donations instead of, or in addition to, flowers. Thus, you should decide if attendees may send flowers, if you'd rather they donate to a chosen charitable organization or cause in memory of the deceased, or if either form of expression is appropriate.
First, check with your local Funeral Consumers Alliance to see if they have a survey of prices in your area. If so, check the range of costs for your chosen arrangement, and pick out some affordable funeral homes. You may find a huge price difference for the same option, so doing a cost comparison might save you several thousand dollars. Often those specializing in cremation offer the lowest prices for that service, but not always—be sure to double check.![]()
Think about your expectations and then follow common sense. Does the facility match your needs? Is the staff compassionate? Can the funeral home accommodate your religious needs? Is it locally-owned or part of a large conglomerate? The most important reason for selection should be that the funeral home offers a meaningful and affordable tribute to your love one.![]()
When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
You should feel comfortable with the funeral director at the funeral home. Your first meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. Cost is another consideration, and it’s okay (and can be a good idea) to comparison shop if you feel uneasy about quoted prices. And if you’re not sure where to start, but you know what cemetery you want to use, consider asking the cemetery for their recommended funeral homes.
From Google to online directories to asking friends and family members, there are many ways to find funeral homes in your area. Once you’ve determined what your criteria are for a funeral home, you can begin to make use of these resources to find potential funeral homes. Ask friends and family members about any funeral home experiences they’ve had, look at funeral homes’ websites, and search for local funeral homes using online directories. More and more, funeral homes reviews are appearing on customer review sites, such as Yelp and Angie’s List, and those might be helpful resources as well.
Planning a funeral or memorial service is a highly personal process, and your decisions will be shaped by your life experiences, your relationship to the deceased, what the deceased wanted or what you desire for yourself after you die, what you can afford, and a myriad of other factors. There are several reasons to plan a funeral in advance, but here are the decisions you will generally need to make.
I have a friend who just lost a loved one, and is trying to find a funeral home that he can use for the viewing procession. It really helped when you said to visit several funeral homes and compare prices and location with each one to find one that’s the most convenient. Hopefully this should help my friend narrow down his choices for what funeral home he should choose that’s affordable, and in a convenient place to go to.
If you can’t find a price survey, look online or in the phone book for funeral home listings. Call five or six and get their prices for your chosen arrangement; perhaps ask about casket and urn prices as well. If a particular funeral director seems uncooperative, cross him off your list. Do the costs fit within your budget? If not, you may have to consider a more affordable type of arrangement, look beyond your immediate area for lower prices, or eliminate extra expenses like embalming or visitation.
Sylvia Caye McNeal, age 62. Sunrise May 30, 1958 and Sunset October 8, 2020. PRIVATE Visitation 10:00 AM and Funeral Service 11:00 AM Thursday, October 29, 2020 at MARLAN J. GARY FUNERAL HOME, THE CHAPEL OF PEACE EAST, 5456 E. Livingston Ave. A MASK IS MANDATORY. Interment at Evergreen Burial Park. Please keep the family… Read complete obituary here.
Finally, if you're planning your own funeral or memorial service in advance, you should inform your family about your end-of-life wishes to make sure they know what you want. Ideally, you should provide a written record rather than relying upon a family member's memory or keeping your plans on your computer, but even a single verbal conversation with your spouse or partner, child, sibling, or parent can prove better than nothing.
Tip: At £700, the funeral expenses payment is unable to cover the average cost of a funeral. There are alternatives that may reduce the financial burden, such as a public health funeral or direct cremation. Separating the service from the disposal of the body can be helpful too in allowing people to think creatively about meaningful but inexpensive ways in which a person’s memory can be honoured.
Fellow members need your help in answering critical questions. As an exclusive service to members, the OFDA's Q&A page allows you to share common questions and maybe not-so-common answers. You can even share your stories of unique and/or interesting services that you have provided. Maybe your story will answer someone's question before they even ask it!
This article was co-authored by David I. Jacobson. David I. Jacobson is the founder of Chicago Jewish Funerals, an independent Jewish owned funeral provider that evolved into two funeral homes in the Chicagoland area. With over 30 years of experience serving families, David is a leading expert on Kavod Hamet, the Jewish traditions of honoring and respecting the dead. David is an active funeral director that serves people planning and in need of funerals, lecturing to congregations, community groups, and schools extensively about the values of the Jewish funeral as well as the dying process and the value of one’s legacy. This article has been viewed 7,402 times.
Jonathan V. Redmond, age 39. Sunrise January 6, 1981 and Sunset October 6, 2020. PUBLIC Visitation 8:00 AM A TICKET IS MANDATORY (PRIVATE) Visitation 10:00 AM and Funeral Service 11:00 AM Friday, October 30, 2020 at MARLAN J. GARY FUNERAL HOME, THE CHAPEL OF PEACE NORTH 2500 Cleveland Ave. A MASK IS MANDATORY. Interment at… Read complete obituary here.![]()
For families minded to take a more hands-on approach, there are coffin suppliers who deal directly with the public. However, it is important be aware of quality and that many crematoria expect coffins to be accredited by the Funeral Furnishing Manufacturers’ Association or other authority. Crematoria also require coffins to be compliant with Government regulations on emissions. Check with suppliers and the crematorium in question before making payment.
Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director. After the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.[11]
For example, you can arrange a "traditional" funeral service that includes a wake/visitation beforehand with the embalmed body in an open casket even if you desire cremation of the deceased as the form of final disposition. Likewise, some families choose to cremate the unembalmed deceased without a service beforehand but hold a memorial service afterward with or without the inurned remains present.
Today, about half of people decide that cremation is the right choice for them. Whether or not to be cremated is a personal decision that only you can make. The best way to make an informed decision is to learn as much as you can about it. We have a comprehensive section of information relating to cremation that can help you understand how the process works and what type of questions you should ask in order to decide what’s right for you. Visit our cremation section.
From Google to online directories to asking friends and family members, there are many ways to find funeral homes in your area. Once you’ve determined what your criteria are for a funeral home, you can begin to make use of these resources to find potential funeral homes. Ask friends and family members about any funeral home experiences they’ve had, look at funeral homes’ websites, and search for local funeral homes using online directories. More and more, funeral homes reviews are appearing on customer review sites, such as Yelp and Angie’s List, and those might be helpful resources as well.

