Ask your family some specific questions. Do they have preferences about the type of final arrangement? If you are planning for a loved one, did he or she leave any written instructions? Have arrangements at a certain funeral home already been prepaid, perhaps years ago? Be sure to look for any documents that will help in the decision-making process before going forward.

When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
I like how you talked about being sure to check the prices for cremation services to be sure that they offer the lowest pricing. My grandmother wanted to be cremated, and since her recent death, I think that finding a cremation service would be the next step for us. I’m glad that you talked about looking at prices, and I’ll have to be sure that I do that while I’m looking for some good cremation services for her!

Ask yourself: How important is a convenient location? Do you prefer proximity to your home, place of worship, or cemetery? Is price a critical factor? How flexible is your budget? If you or your family used a funeral firm in the past, how satisfied were you? Do you have special religious or cultural requirements? If you want a viewing or service, will you need a large facility with ample parking, high-tech video screens, or handicap-accessibility? Or is simplicity your first priority?
When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
I like how you talked about being sure to check the prices for cremation services to be sure that they offer the lowest pricing. My grandmother wanted to be cremated, and since her recent death, I think that finding a cremation service would be the next step for us. I’m glad that you talked about looking at prices, and I’ll have to be sure that I do that while I’m looking for some good cremation services for her!
If you can’t find a price survey, look online or in the phone book for funeral home listings. Call five or six and get their prices for your chosen arrangement; perhaps ask about casket and urn prices as well. If a particular funeral director seems uncooperative, cross him off your list. Do the costs fit within your budget? If not, you may have to consider a more affordable type of arrangement, look beyond your immediate area for lower prices, or eliminate extra expenses like embalming or visitation.
Think about your expectations and then follow common sense. Does the facility match your needs? Is the staff compassionate? Can the funeral home accommodate your religious needs? Is it locally-owned or part of a large conglomerate? The most important reason for selection should be that the funeral home offers a meaningful and affordable tribute to your love one.  

It’s best to choose a funeral home based on a recommendation by someone you trust. Don’t feel immediate pressure to choose quickly. Take time to speak with your close circle for a choice or two. Consider a recommendation from a religious leader, a friend or family member or a connection like a hospice representative. Here are some more suggestions:


Keeping in mind your personal priorities, do further research. Visit the funeral homes’ websites. Ask your family, friends and colleagues for their experiences with any of your choices. You could also check online customer review sites, or ask your local Funeral Consumers Alliance if they have received any complaints about any of them. Then focus your attention on two or three of the most promising choices.
Have you and your family discussed a budget, and decided on an amount that’s affordable for you—that you’re willing and able to spend without hardship? Shopping for a funeral should be like making any major purchase—you know what you can afford before you start shopping. Don’t make the mistake of buying a funeral the way many people do—accepting the funeral home’s price then scrambling to find the money.
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