Your first meeting with a funeral director (sometimes referred to as an "arrangement conference") can take place in person—either at the funeral home or at your own home—or over the phone. This initial meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered by the funeral home, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. The funeral director should be friendly, courteous, well-informed and compassionate. You may have many questions and requests, and the funeral director should listen attentively and provide answers.
First, check with your local Funeral Consumers Alliance to see if they have a survey of prices in your area. If so, check the range of costs for your chosen arrangement, and pick out some affordable funeral homes. You may find a huge price difference for the same option, so doing a cost comparison might save you several thousand dollars. Often those specializing in cremation offer the lowest prices for that service, but not always—be sure to double check.
Discuss the funeral plans and costs with the director. After the transportation happens, talk to the director again to plan the funeral. You may do this over the phone, but it helps to visit them in person to go over all your options. There are a lot of choices to make in what may be a difficult time, so you may want a friend or family to come along for support.[7]
In addition, it is possible to formally arrange your services in advance with a provider and then pay in advance, whether all at once or through installments. There are many reasons why people enter into these "preneed" arrangements, including removing the burden of making difficult decisions once death occurs; to prevent financial hardship on survivors, or to spend down their assets in order to qualify for certain federal benefits.
From Google to online directories to asking friends and family members, there are many ways to find funeral homes in your area. Once you’ve determined what your criteria are for a funeral home, you can begin to make use of these resources to find potential funeral homes. Ask friends and family members about any funeral home experiences they’ve had, look at funeral homes’ websites, and search for local funeral homes using online directories. More and more, funeral homes reviews are appearing on customer review sites, such as Yelp and Angie’s List, and those might be helpful resources as well.
If you are planning a funeral in advance of need, be sure to tell your loved ones about your decisions. Write down your specific instructions and funeral home choice. Give copies of your instructions to your family members or close friends, lawyer, and/or spiritual advisor. Do not put your written plans only in your Will or safe deposit box—they might not be found and read until too late—after your funeral is over.
For example, you can arrange a "traditional" funeral service that includes a wake/visitation beforehand with the embalmed body in an open casket even if you desire cremation of the deceased as the form of final disposition. Likewise, some families choose to cremate the unembalmed deceased without a service beforehand but hold a memorial service afterward with or without the inurned remains present.
After determining the above, the next step is to research your service and provider options. If death has already occurred, you can contact a local funeral home, cremation provider or cemetery. Your chosen provider can help you arrange the funeral, memorial and/or interment service you desire; provide information about your various product and service options; explain the costs involved for merchandise, services, and other professional fees; and help you create an obituary or death notice and obtain official death certificates.
In the past few decades, funeral services have grown increasingly personalized, although many people still think of the "traditional funeral" as the norm. A personalized funeral or memorial service reflects the unique life and personality of the deceased individual, as viewed by the deceased and/or his or her surviving loved ones, and regardless of the form such services take.
Have you and your family discussed a budget, and decided on an amount that’s affordable for you—that you’re willing and able to spend without hardship? Shopping for a funeral should be like making any major purchase—you know what you can afford before you start shopping. Don’t make the mistake of buying a funeral the way many people do—accepting the funeral home’s price then scrambling to find the money.
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