Please join us for a FREE Pre-planning Web seminar and learn how to secure your veteran memorial benefits on Thursday, November 12th at 10am. After attending the seminar, we will gather your information to send you a free $20 gift card to a local grocery store. Reserve your spot today by clicking the following link: https://info.funeral-preplanning.com/104496-acep-veteranswebinar-11/12/20/schoedinger
When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17] 

If the death has already happened and you do not have time to pre-plan, download a copy of our Funeral Planning Checklist and Planning Form. This comprehensive document will help you gather all the information that you will need when meeting with the funeral service providers you will be working with. Once you make the request we will email you right away with a link to download the document.
Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences. For the past several decades, however, families have also used the phrase "In lieu of flowers..." in death notices and obituaries to suggest their preference for funeral memorial donations instead of, or in addition to, flowers. Thus, you should decide if attendees may send flowers, if you'd rather they donate to a chosen charitable organization or cause in memory of the deceased, or if either form of expression is appropriate.
You should also discuss with your provider any religious or cultural preferences that you would like honored. For example, if you desire a secular or non-religious funeral or memorial service, you might like to use the services of a funeral celebrant, which some funeral homes now have on their staffs. Many funeral homes also have experience serving families from diverse cultural backgrounds with their own funeral rites, rituals, and customs.
Many families these days prefer to plan a funeral or memorial service focused on remembering the deceased as he or she was in life, a service focused on the deceased's body/remains, or a combination of both. Therefore, you should imagine and plan the funeral or memorial service that you and/or the person who died consider the most meaningful way to say goodbye—something that captures the unique qualities of the deceased; reflects his or her and/or your personal, religious or spiritual beliefs; and provides a memorable, meaningful opportunity for mourners to express their grief while comforting and supporting each other.
Register the death certificate if you aren’t working with a director. After the passing has been legally documented by a medical professional, you can retrieve an official death certificate needed for burial or cremation. Normally, the funeral director handles the paperwork. When doing it yourself, contact your the registrar or vital statistic office in the area where the deceased lived.[11]

In a nutshell, this normally involves the deceased being taken into the care of a funeral director, the funeral director making necessary arrangements with relevant authorities, providing a hearse and limousine on the day of the funeral and transporting the deceased and their family, in black, to the place of the funeral, where a religious minister would oversee proceedings.


Ask yourself: How important is a convenient location? Do you prefer proximity to your home, place of worship, or cemetery? Is price a critical factor? How flexible is your budget? If you or your family used a funeral firm in the past, how satisfied were you? Do you have special religious or cultural requirements? If you want a viewing or service, will you need a large facility with ample parking, high-tech video screens, or handicap-accessibility? Or is simplicity your first priority?
You should also discuss with your provider any religious or cultural preferences that you would like honored. For example, if you desire a secular or non-religious funeral or memorial service, you might like to use the services of a funeral celebrant, which some funeral homes now have on their staffs. Many funeral homes also have experience serving families from diverse cultural backgrounds with their own funeral rites, rituals, and customs.
Keeping in mind your personal priorities, do further research. Visit the funeral homes’ websites. Ask your family, friends and colleagues for their experiences with any of your choices. You could also check online customer review sites, or ask your local Funeral Consumers Alliance if they have received any complaints about any of them. Then focus your attention on two or three of the most promising choices.

My wife and I are in charge of planning the funeral of a friend who has passed away recently but aren’t sure where to start. I like that you suggest visiting the funeral home in person to ensure you like the facility and its staff. In my opinion, the location is really important because we need people to find it easily and having it nearby gives us a lot more time to prepare. Thanks for the help!
When you have thoroughly evaluated information from several funeral homes, choose the one you like best. If the funeral is imminent, call the funeral home to begin the arrangements. At this point, you could fill out the funeral home’s pre-need planning form and pay a deposit if required. But remember, never sign a contract for more than you or your family can afford to pay!
Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17] 

From Google to online directories to asking friends and family members, there are many ways to find funeral homes in your area. Once you’ve determined what your criteria are for a funeral home, you can begin to make use of these resources to find potential funeral homes. Ask friends and family members about any funeral home experiences they’ve had, look at funeral homes’ websites, and search for local funeral homes using online directories. More and more, funeral homes reviews are appearing on customer review sites, such as Yelp and Angie’s List, and those might be helpful resources as well.

Make an appointment to visit those funeral homes if possible. Bring a list of questions and a friend or family member less emotionally invested in the funeral than you are. Ask the funeral home for their General Price List and have the director review it with you. You might want to see an array of urns or caskets, ask about their billing policy, or meet the staff. Do you like the facility? Does the funeral director seem helpful and trustworthy, and answer questions willingly? Is he or she sensitive to your values and cultural or religious needs? Don’t select a funeral provider unless you feel completely comfortable with the director and the premises.
Your first meeting with a funeral director (sometimes referred to as an "arrangement conference") can take place in person—either at the funeral home or at your own home—or over the phone. This initial meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered by the funeral home, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. The funeral director should be friendly, courteous, well-informed and compassionate. You may have many questions and requests, and the funeral director should listen attentively and provide answers.
Please join us for a FREE Pre-planning Web seminar and learn how to secure your veteran memorial benefits on Thursday, November 12th at 10am. After attending the seminar, we will gather your information to send you a free $20 gift card to a local grocery store. Reserve your spot today by clicking the following link: https://info.funeral-preplanning.com/104496-acep-veteranswebinar-11/12/20/schoedinger
When you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you can trust us to guide you through the arrangements necessary to create a meaningful ceremony that celebrates the unique life being honored. Our staff is committed to providing your family with the highest quality care and service in your time of need, and we take pride in our responsibility to lighten your burden as you take the first steps toward healing. 
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