When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
Today, about half of people decide that cremation is the right choice for them. Whether or not to be cremated is a personal decision that only you can make. The best way to make an informed decision is to learn as much as you can about it. We have a comprehensive section of information relating to cremation that can help you understand how the process works and what type of questions you should ask in order to decide what’s right for you. Visit our cremation section.
After determining the above, the next step is to research your service and provider options. If death has already occurred, you can contact a local funeral home, cremation provider or cemetery. Your chosen provider can help you arrange the funeral, memorial and/or interment service you desire; provide information about your various product and service options; explain the costs involved for merchandise, services, and other professional fees; and help you create an obituary or death notice and obtain official death certificates.
When a friend or loved one dies or death is expected to take place soon, there are many details to take care of. This can be a very stressful time. You are grieving and may have assumed a great responsibility by taking on the task of making funeral arrangements for someone you care about. The following information will make this difficult time easier for you. 

Planning a funeral or memorial service is a highly personal process, and your decisions will be shaped by your life experiences, your relationship to the deceased, what the deceased wanted or what you desire for yourself after you die, what you can afford, and a myriad of other factors. There are several reasons to plan a funeral in advance, but here are the decisions you will generally need to make.
We’ll take you through the steps of arranging a funeral — from making the first calls when someone dies to taking care of the financial and administrative matters that have to be handled following the funeral. If a death has already taken place and you have not yet begun to make notifications, visit our First Call page. This page has information that can help you understand what steps you need to take right away.
I’m glad that you mention how it’s important to know the funeral arrangements you want, such as burial services or cremation. Once you know this and other requirements, such as where you want the burial, it might help to start research funeral homes in the area. Finding a local one could ensure that the services can get done quickly and you can properly remember your deceased loved one.
For families minded to take a more hands-on approach, there are coffin suppliers who deal directly with the public. However, it is important be aware of quality and that many crematoria expect coffins to be accredited by the Funeral Furnishing Manufacturers’ Association or other authority. Crematoria also require coffins to be compliant with Government regulations on emissions. Check with suppliers and the crematorium in question before making payment. 

When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.

I like how you talked about being sure to check the prices for cremation services to be sure that they offer the lowest pricing. My grandmother wanted to be cremated, and since her recent death, I think that finding a cremation service would be the next step for us. I’m glad that you talked about looking at prices, and I’ll have to be sure that I do that while I’m looking for some good cremation services for her!

Fellow members need your help in answering critical questions. As an exclusive service to members, the OFDA's Q&A page allows you to share common questions and maybe not-so-common answers. You can even share your stories of unique and/or interesting services that you have provided. Maybe your story will answer someone's question before they even ask it!
Evangelist Ceola Walker Baker, age 78. Heaven Sent April 3, 1942 and Heaven Bound October 22, 2020. Ceola was born in Birmingham, AL to Samuel Sr. and Sally Walker. Ceola was a member of Miracle Cathedral where she served as an Ordained Evangelist, Church Mother, Missionary, and Mime Ministry. She loved feeding the community with… Read complete obituary here.
Everything we do before, during and after a service is done because we want you to feel as comfortable as possible as this becomes your home away from home during a time of loss.Our facility is one of the most beautiful and recognized landmarks in Savannah, GA. From the flower-landscaped and front entrance to the tastefully furnished interior, you will have the feeling of being in a fine and comfortable place to pay your last respects and a beautiful final tribute to your love one.
If you can’t find a price survey, look online or in the phone book for funeral home listings. Call five or six and get their prices for your chosen arrangement; perhaps ask about casket and urn prices as well. If a particular funeral director seems uncooperative, cross him off your list. Do the costs fit within your budget? If not, you may have to consider a more affordable type of arrangement, look beyond your immediate area for lower prices, or eliminate extra expenses like embalming or visitation.
My wife and I are in charge of planning the funeral of a friend who has passed away recently but aren’t sure where to start. I like that you suggest visiting the funeral home in person to ensure you like the facility and its staff. In my opinion, the location is really important because we need people to find it easily and having it nearby gives us a lot more time to prepare. Thanks for the help!

If you are planning a funeral in advance of need, be sure to tell your loved ones about your decisions. Write down your specific instructions and funeral home choice. Give copies of your instructions to your family members or close friends, lawyer, and/or spiritual advisor. Do not put your written plans only in your Will or safe deposit box—they might not be found and read until too late—after your funeral is over.
In the past few decades, funeral services have grown increasingly personalized, although many people still think of the "traditional funeral" as the norm. A personalized funeral or memorial service reflects the unique life and personality of the deceased individual, as viewed by the deceased and/or his or her surviving loved ones, and regardless of the form such services take.
If a friend or loved one is seriously ill and expected to die in a matter of days or weeks, consider making funeral arrangements in advance. Preparing ahead of time puts you in control and allows you to explore all your options. It will make your meeting with a funeral director more productive and is likely to save you money. Our online planning tools and forms can help you make funeral arrangements in advance. You can also try the Wise Planning System.
Thank you for mentioning how you should consult with a funeral provider and get a written list of items you can get with your plan. It is important to remember that doing this can help you know what you are paying for and what is available to you. My dad passed away yesterday and we want to make sure we get the best funeral services we can, so I’m glad I found your post.
If you are planning a funeral in advance of need, be sure to tell your loved ones about your decisions. Write down your specific instructions and funeral home choice. Give copies of your instructions to your family members or close friends, lawyer, and/or spiritual advisor. Do not put your written plans only in your Will or safe deposit box—they might not be found and read until too late—after your funeral is over.
You should also discuss with your provider any religious or cultural preferences that you would like honored. For example, if you desire a secular or non-religious funeral or memorial service, you might like to use the services of a funeral celebrant, which some funeral homes now have on their staffs. Many funeral homes also have experience serving families from diverse cultural backgrounds with their own funeral rites, rituals, and customs.
Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17] 

If you are planning a funeral in advance of need, be sure to tell your loved ones about your decisions. Write down your specific instructions and funeral home choice. Give copies of your instructions to your family members or close friends, lawyer, and/or spiritual advisor. Do not put your written plans only in your Will or safe deposit box—they might not be found and read until too late—after your funeral is over.


Thank you for mentioning how you should consult with a funeral provider and get a written list of items you can get with your plan. It is important to remember that doing this can help you know what you are paying for and what is available to you. My dad passed away yesterday and we want to make sure we get the best funeral services we can, so I’m glad I found your post.
My grandpa is very sick, and my mother is trying to find a funeral service to get everything in order beforehand. I like that you say to visit several funeral homes and bring a list of questions as well as try to meet the staff. This will help you get an idea if you are comfortable with the director as well as the home. Also, I agree that you should weigh your priorities and see if you want the funeral home to be close to your home, a church, or a cemetery and decide which is most important.
When I give my last breath, I would like my family to just mourn my passing and remember my life with them, and not squander around looking for a funeral home to put me in. Funeral costs would only continue to go up following certain statistics on the market so it is only prudent to have a budget planned when looking for a funeral home. When choosing a funeral home, I think it is a clever idea to ask the establishment on how their services are different than the rest. Not only will this show you which one could provide more for your money, you can also choose which ones have a better set of packages/services offered.
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