Ask your family some specific questions. Do they have preferences about the type of final arrangement? If you are planning for a loved one, did he or she leave any written instructions? Have arrangements at a certain funeral home already been prepaid, perhaps years ago? Be sure to look for any documents that will help in the decision-making process before going forward.
Fellow members need your help in answering critical questions. As an exclusive service to members, the OFDA's Q&A page allows you to share common questions and maybe not-so-common answers. You can even share your stories of unique and/or interesting services that you have provided. Maybe your story will answer someone's question before they even ask it!
In the past few decades, funeral services have grown increasingly personalized, although many people still think of the "traditional funeral" as the norm. A personalized funeral or memorial service reflects the unique life and personality of the deceased individual, as viewed by the deceased and/or his or her surviving loved ones, and regardless of the form such services take.
First, check with your local Funeral Consumers Alliance to see if they have a survey of prices in your area. If so, check the range of costs for your chosen arrangement, and pick out some affordable funeral homes. You may find a huge price difference for the same option, so doing a cost comparison might save you several thousand dollars. Often those specializing in cremation offer the lowest prices for that service, but not always—be sure to double check.
You should also discuss with your provider any religious or cultural preferences that you would like honored. For example, if you desire a secular or non-religious funeral or memorial service, you might like to use the services of a funeral celebrant, which some funeral homes now have on their staffs. Many funeral homes also have experience serving families from diverse cultural backgrounds with their own funeral rites, rituals, and customs.
When you have thoroughly evaluated information from several funeral homes, choose the one you like best. If the funeral is imminent, call the funeral home to begin the arrangements. At this point, you could fill out the funeral home’s pre-need planning form and pay a deposit if required. But remember, never sign a contract for more than you or your family can afford to pay!
Make an appointment to visit those funeral homes if possible. Bring a list of questions and a friend or family member less emotionally invested in the funeral than you are. Ask the funeral home for their General Price List and have the director review it with you. You might want to see an array of urns or caskets, ask about their billing policy, or meet the staff. Do you like the facility? Does the funeral director seem helpful and trustworthy, and answer questions willingly? Is he or she sensitive to your values and cultural or religious needs? Don’t select a funeral provider unless you feel completely comfortable with the director and the premises.
Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences. For the past several decades, however, families have also used the phrase "In lieu of flowers..." in death notices and obituaries to suggest their preference for funeral memorial donations instead of, or in addition to, flowers. Thus, you should decide if attendees may send flowers, if you'd rather they donate to a chosen charitable organization or cause in memory of the deceased, or if either form of expression is appropriate.
We strive to be professional, courteous, understanding, and above all, compassionate in our service. When selecting a funeral service, we suggest to our families the three most important items to remember: 1. Every funeral is a dignified funeral; 2. Stay in a price category that you can afford and most importantly, 3. Whoever is paying for the funeral, such as a surviving spouse, they need to maintain their same standard of living or better.
Discuss the funeral plans and costs with the director. After the transportation happens, talk to the director again to plan the funeral. You may do this over the phone, but it helps to visit them in person to go over all your options. There are a lot of choices to make in what may be a difficult time, so you may want a friend or family to come along for support.[7]
This article was co-authored by David I. Jacobson. David I. Jacobson is the founder of Chicago Jewish Funerals, an independent Jewish owned funeral provider that evolved into two funeral homes in the Chicagoland area. With over 30 years of experience serving families, David is a leading expert on Kavod Hamet, the Jewish traditions of honoring and respecting the dead. David is an active funeral director that serves people planning and in need of funerals, lecturing to congregations, community groups, and schools extensively about the values of the Jewish funeral as well as the dying process and the value of one’s legacy. This article has been viewed 7,402 times.
My grandpa is very sick, and my mother is trying to find a funeral service to get everything in order beforehand. I like that you say to visit several funeral homes and bring a list of questions as well as try to meet the staff. This will help you get an idea if you are comfortable with the director as well as the home. Also, I agree that you should weigh your priorities and see if you want the funeral home to be close to your home, a church, or a cemetery and decide which is most important.
Thanks for the tip about considering if you want a funeral home to be close to your home, place of worship, or cemetery. Any one of these things would probably really help make planning a funeral much easier. My mom is getting older and starting to plan her funeral arrangements. When she decides to choose a funeral home, she’ll have to consider the convenience of the location as well.

