Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17]
When someone we love has experienced a loss, we may struggle with what to say. Statements such as, “I didn’t know what to say to help,” or “I had such a hard time finding the right words” are common statements. When we extend expressions of empathy to someone who is grieving, it is best to speak honestly and from the heart. Here are a few tips based on the teachings of Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, on expressing empathy to a grieving loved one.
Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences. For the past several decades, however, families have also used the phrase "In lieu of flowers..." in death notices and obituaries to suggest their preference for funeral memorial donations instead of, or in addition to, flowers. Thus, you should decide if attendees may send flowers, if you'd rather they donate to a chosen charitable organization or cause in memory of the deceased, or if either form of expression is appropriate.
Rodney Eugene Broady, age 63. Sunrise July 7, 1957 and Sunset September 17, 2020. Please revisit this page and pray for the Broady Family as they write the obituary for Rodney. Private Visitation 10:00 AM and Private Funeral Service 11:00 AM Wednesday, October 28, 2020 at MARLAN J. GARY FUNERAL HOME, THE CHAPEL OF PEACE… Read complete obituary here.
Arranging a funeral can seem like a daunting responsibility during a trying time, but it's an essential part of expressing grief. Contact a funeral director for guidance on setting up the funeral, completing legal documentation, and reserving space at a cemetery or crematorium. Personalize the service with music and decorations and you'll create a memorial service everyone will love.
Ask yourself: How important is a convenient location? Do you prefer proximity to your home, place of worship, or cemetery? Is price a critical factor? How flexible is your budget? If you or your family used a funeral firm in the past, how satisfied were you? Do you have special religious or cultural requirements? If you want a viewing or service, will you need a large facility with ample parking, high-tech video screens, or handicap-accessibility? Or is simplicity your first priority?![]()
Your first meeting with a funeral director (sometimes referred to as an "arrangement conference") can take place in person—either at the funeral home or at your own home—or over the phone. This initial meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered by the funeral home, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. The funeral director should be friendly, courteous, well-informed and compassionate. You may have many questions and requests, and the funeral director should listen attentively and provide answers.
You should feel comfortable with the funeral director at the funeral home. Your first meeting is an opportunity for you to ask questions, learn more about the services offered, and get a general sense of what the funeral home in question is like. Cost is another consideration, and it’s okay (and can be a good idea) to comparison shop if you feel uneasy about quoted prices. And if you’re not sure where to start, but you know what cemetery you want to use, consider asking the cemetery for their recommended funeral homes.
I have a friend who just lost a loved one, and is trying to find a funeral home that he can use for the viewing procession. It really helped when you said to visit several funeral homes and compare prices and location with each one to find one that’s the most convenient. Hopefully this should help my friend narrow down his choices for what funeral home he should choose that’s affordable, and in a convenient place to go to.
Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences. For the past several decades, however, families have also used the phrase "In lieu of flowers..." in death notices and obituaries to suggest their preference for funeral memorial donations instead of, or in addition to, flowers. Thus, you should decide if attendees may send flowers, if you'd rather they donate to a chosen charitable organization or cause in memory of the deceased, or if either form of expression is appropriate.
If the death has already happened and you do not have time to pre-plan, download a copy of our Funeral Planning Checklist and Planning Form. This comprehensive document will help you gather all the information that you will need when meeting with the funeral service providers you will be working with. Once you make the request we will email you right away with a link to download the document.
Ask your family some specific questions. Do they have preferences about the type of final arrangement? If you are planning for a loved one, did he or she leave any written instructions? Have arrangements at a certain funeral home already been prepaid, perhaps years ago? Be sure to look for any documents that will help in the decision-making process before going forward.
Evangelist Ceola Walker Baker, age 78. Heaven Sent April 3, 1942 and Heaven Bound October 22, 2020. Ceola was born in Birmingham, AL to Samuel Sr. and Sally Walker. Ceola was a member of Miracle Cathedral where she served as an Ordained Evangelist, Church Mother, Missionary, and Mime Ministry. She loved feeding the community with… Read complete obituary here.
Plan out the eulogies for the service. Consult with the other guests to figure out who wants to talk during the service. Don't force anyone to make a speech if they're not comfortable doing so. Also, if you'd rather not speak, it's okay if you politely decline. Even if you assign speaking duties, it’s good to open up the floor at the end of the service to anyone who wants to share their thoughts.[17]
When comparing prices, calculate the total cost of all the items. Although funeral homes may offer packages that cost less than buying individual items or services, you may not need all the services. Consider the wishes of the deceased, your budget and input from relatives and friends. The amount that you spend isn’t tied to the love you had for the deceased. Going into debt isn’t advisable.
Ask your family some specific questions. Do they have preferences about the type of final arrangement? If you are planning for a loved one, did he or she leave any written instructions? Have arrangements at a certain funeral home already been prepaid, perhaps years ago? Be sure to look for any documents that will help in the decision-making process before going forward.

