Self-Care for the Perfectionist

Are you a perfectionist? If you often set unrealistically high standards for yourself, then 
you probably are. On the surface, being a perfectionist doesn't seem like such a bad 
thing. It's true that having high expectations for yourself can be beneficial - but if you 
take it to extremes, it can get in the way of your happiness, well-being, and ability to 
care for yourself. If you're a perfectionist, these self-care tips will help you learn to treat 
yourself more gently and accept yourself just as you are. 

1. Talk to yourself in a kind, encouraging way

Think about how you'd talk to a good friend if they made a mistake at something. You 
wouldn't call them names or say mean things to them. So why would you do that to 
yourself? Unfortunately, most perfectionists are in the habit of talking to themselves in a 
less-than-kind way. Tearing yourself down isn't constructive, though, so make an effort 
to notice when you're doing it and stop. If you catch yourself engaging in negative self-
talk, change your thoughts to something more positive instead.

2. Forgive yourself when you mess something up

Mistakes - big ones and small ones alike - can haunt a perfectionist for days. But if you 
can't let go of something you did wrong last week, you're wasting valuable mental 
bandwidth on something that most other people have probably forgotten by now. It's 
important to consciously forgive yourself for making mistakes, even though it might be 
difficult at first. Say something like, "I forgive myself. That mistake is in the past, and I'm 
going to do my best from here on out." Then move on with your life.

3. Take time every day to focus on something you did well

When you're a perfectionist, it's all too easy to focus on the things you did wrong. Get 
into the daily habit of thinking about things you did right instead. Keep in mind that you 
can do something well without doing it perfectly! If you learned something new in class, 
or if your boss complimented you on your latest project, give yourself a pat on the back 
for your accomplishment. 

4. Laugh

Humor is a wonderful way to relax and gain some perspective. Try to find something to 
laugh about every day, whether that means sharing a joke with a co-worker or watching 
comedy videos online. When you have a good sense of humor, you'll be able to cope 
with mistakes and negative thoughts more easily.

5. Find a judgment-free space to express yourself

A great remedy for perfectionism is allowing yourself to be imperfect - on purpose. Find 
a way to express yourself or try something new without any judgment or criticism, either 
from yourself or from anybody else. This could mean writing in a journal, teaching 
yourself a new skill, or working on a creative project that you won't show to anybody 
else. The only rule: your activity must be strictly for your own enjoyment. The outcome 
doesn't matter, so there's no reason for you to criticize yourself. 

Being a perfectionist can take a toll on your mental health and happiness over time. In 
fact, holding yourself to a rigid, unrealistic standard is the opposite of caring for yourself. 
These self-care tips will help you adopt a healthier mindset and treat yourself with the 
patience and compassion you deserve.

