Nice Ways to Say No

If you’re the kind of person who is always thinking of ways to please others, it can 
sometimes be very difficult to hold space for yourself.  An important part of being a 
healthy, assertive person can take some practice, but it’s an important thing to learn that 
can save you a lot of headaches, but what if you really don’t know how to say no?  For 
some people, thinking about that kind of confrontation can make a person very uneasy. 
If this is a problem for you as well, then you will be happy to see that there are plenty of 
polite ways to turn people down. 

Don’t Allow Relationships to Control You 

When it’s important to say no, you should say no. Letting people push you into bad 
situations just because of who they are to you is never good, and a decision to do so 
could do potentially lasting harm. Every move you make with another person is setting a 
precedent between both of you. If you set proper boundaries now, then later on you can 
be more confident that you will be able to gauge their level of urgency. 

Refer to Your Calendar 

Another way to bow out of a request is to let them know that you will consider it if your 
schedule allows. This gives you the ability to say a soft no, but still have the ability to 
change your mind later. That means that you now have control over whether or not they 
are likely to ask that sort of request again in the future without making it difficult. If you 
know it’s a hard no, then you can simply contact them and let them know that you won’t 
be able when the request is less fresh. 

Let Your Work Keep You Busy 

If you feel like you aren’t being a good friend and you’re still feeling sort of guilty, then 
you can actually fill your time with the things that you need to get done. Devote time to 
making sure that you have a more secure future, and that tasks are being taken off of 
your list. This will lower your stress level and give you some peace. 

Suggest Another Capable Person

If you really feel comfortable, try to find another person to do the request instead. This 
can be especially useful when it comes to request related to your business and skilled 
work. If someone want you to do a job for free or a reduced price, referring another 
capable person lets your friend know that they can get the skilled work elsewhere, and 
this also gives them a chance to see the value of your expertise. 
