Thank you all for your cooperation; you are all true fighters of freedom and light. Now let us begin.

 

I need your help to dispose of Milao for all the wrong he has done my beloved dormitory. However, I do not want to be too hasty; there are forces that would rush to fill the void left by Milao's demise. We must first eliminate them. I have been able to secure Premier Parker's word of cooperation, but it is Commander Yandow and Commander Tarp that I worry about. Given the chance, Commander Yandow would make a grab at the title with his arsenal of Subatomic bombs. Commander Tarp's military force is much less potent, as is his desire for supreme leadership, for without opposition his trolling engines become impotent and the Dorm would probably lose electricity.

 

I know this opposition to the Chairman may seem extreme, especially considering the amount of propaganda he has fed all of you, but I need you to trust me. You are well within your rights as a freethinking citizen to doubt my words, but I can show you that what I am saying is true.

 

There is proof of the Chairman's crimes hidden away in a very special place. It is in a place in a place commemorating an especially wondrous occasion. In the annual annals, on a page it resides. My divine countenance blessed everything on this page especially since it was my 10/23 to bitch birthday. Go to this page and you will find what you need.

 

And remember, if you ever need any help, do not hesitate to reach out and contact me.